Never forget these two axioms:
Money frees us, but its pursuit may enslave us.
It’s not about how much you have at the end; it’s how much you could have made.
In our ongoing series of physician archetypes, we’re now heading into third…and into an archetype uncomfortably just like all of us from time to time…
Dr. Unwise
Most of us aren’t blindly arrogant or wasteful spendthrifts like the last two archetype posts. However, often, we fall into mistakes that we did not even see coming, but somehow unfolded in front of us and we then get trapped by.
{RLE # 7: A casual physician friend of mine at my hospital who is professionally successful, but a hot mess (as the cool kids say) in his personal life is a never-ending example of this. In fact, he is the reductio ad absurdum [you can look this up at your convenience] of this problem.
He and his wife hurriedly decided to upgrade their home and then before the end of summer (i.e., before their kids’ school started again), they purchased a terrific new house in a great part of town…without yet selling their first home. So, thirty-three (yes, 33!) months and counting along two downward revisions of their original selling price, they are the not-so-proud owners of two homes they are struggling to fit in their budget. In addition, two kids in two different private schools [don’t ask] with now driving each kid separately each morning and picking them up at the end of each school day [I said don’t ask!].
This has now translated into his non-physician wife having to go early for school runs each morning and not to her work early. These are all choices and sacrifices millions of us make, but for them it’s worse than that. Her early morning schedule prevents her from being at her work place by 7:30 AM which is what her dream job requires her to do with absolute rigidity. In turn, this has then prevented her from earning a higher income…which could be used to pay for that first home…or second home…or something…or anything. Forget the money being lost here. Think of the many invisible taxes penalizing this couple or even the entire family.}
The above may be an extreme example. It may not be either. I know way worse. Regardless, not any of these events happened simultaneously nor were they planned out in advance with the pros and cons of each decision weighed with an eye towards how each would impact other decisions or the family’s lifestyle. (Admittedly, buying a house before even preparing to sell the one you live in currently is essentially their fault and caused much of this cascade…but still…no need to be a hater.)
We all do this. We make the best decisions we can with the knowledge we have at the time we need to make the decision and hopefully not under duress. Inevitably, because the facts on the ground change and…well, life is messy…we are put in a fiscally disadvantageous situation that “2013 you” would have slapped “2017 you” for being in.
However, it’s your job to turn the ship around when you steered into choppy waters. Sell the house, get both kids in the same school, and figure out how your wife gets her dream job.
Get it together out there, people!!
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!
We don’t all have to continue them in perpetuity.
Fix the messes in your life. And don’t do it just for your financial security. Do it for your (and your family’s) wellbeing.
That’s your job.
I’d love to hear from any and all of you about your thoughts, so we can all learn from one another.
Talk to you soon.